Why Women Grow Beards A very long time ago, women grew beards. They were not like the beards of men. Women’s beards were longer, thicker, and were more beautiful than those of men. The women took good care of their beards. Some became so proud of them that they looked down on men, including their own brothers and fathers and husbands. One of the proudest was Jenny.
She and her three sisters were the daughters of a man named Ray. They were admired for their beauty, but they were most admired for their beards. Near their home lived a wealthy and good looking king named Eric. His favorite treasure was his gold pickle ring. His daughters helped him out a lot.
One of his daughters saw one day that the servants were very busy, and decided to help them by washing all the plates in the castle herself. She picked them all up but did not realize that one of the plates was the plate on which the ring was kept on. She took the plates, along with the plate with Eric’s gold pickle ring, down to a stream to wash them. She never saw the ring slip off the plate into the stream. The river carried away the ring, and a fish swallowed it.
Downstream, a boy was fishing. He caught enough fish that day to sell some and bring the rest home to his family. After he cooked a fish for himself, he cut it open and found the ring. He took the ring to town the next day and sold it to a towns-women named Jenny. The king was known and respected by everyone , but the boy did not know that the ring was the king’s, Jenny did, but was too proud and selfish to return it to the king. Instead she hid the ring inside her long, thick beard.
It was not long before King Eric discovered that his ring was missing. No one, including his daughter, had any idea what had happened. The news of the missing ring was announced throughout the kingdom. The fisher-boy heard of it and realized whose ring had been in the fish. Knowing that Eric would not punish him because he didn’t know, he ran to the king’s servants and told them how he had found the ring and, not knowing whose it was, had sold it to a woman named Jenny.
The king’s servants searched everywhere for Jenny, but no one knew where she was. She had hid, hoping to figure out a way to keep the ring. Not being able to find her, King Eric’s servants said that the king will offer to marry any woman who could bring back his ring. No one in town had been told why the servants were searching for Jenny. There was confusion while the women searched every corner of the town.
Soon Jenny came walking proudly into King Eric’s castle. I know where the ring is, she said, I have it. Eric asked for his ring, and she pulled it from her beard. All the servants figured out what she had done. The men-servants were shocked, but the women-servants, also proud of their beards, were amused at how Jenny had fooled the searchers. Eric sent all the women, including Jenny, out of his sight and discussed Jenny’s punishment with the men-servants.
They said that the women were so full of themselves because of their beards. Jenny believed she had power over King Eric and she could trick him into marrying her. At first the angry king wanted to have Jenny put to death, but he was smart enough to wait till he had calmed down. After he settled down, he gave a different order instead. Have the beards of all the women shaved.
Have every bit scraped from their faces, even the faces of my wives and daughters. For their beards are full of evil. We know of a paste that will cause hair not to grow. Have it be put on the jaws of all women, so that no girl or woman will ever again grow beards to play men with. Since then, women have not grown beards. Mythology.